My date with Chuck

I forgot to give details on my date tuesday with Chuck. Well he was a perfect gentleman. We had a great time visiting and talking, you know the normal get to know you preliminary stuff. He is a bit older than me, but that's okay. Seems to be more mature than what I have been dealing with lately. He is very well mannered and he was nervous, which was really cute. We visited over coffee and juice for me and it was really nice. He gave me a really nice hug and kiss on the cheek when I left. Sooo the emails between us have been flying back and forth since then and he is so flattering and so sweet. It's nice to have the amazing compliments he is showering me with. I am so looking forward to hanging out with him again.

Wish me luck gang :)

Missing in Action

Sorry for the missing in action routine. This week has been one for the books... a book I wouldn't mind burning and getting rid of. Was still having trouble at the first of the week on Monday with not able to keep foods down. After trying to eat a small salad on Monday, and getting personal with my trash can I decided I had had enough. I called to make an appt to get an UN FILL ! I also scheduled my physical therapy for my arm and wrist. I took Tuesday off to do all of this. I went Tues morning for my un-fill and found out that I was basically torturing myself for the last 11 days. They asked why I waited so long before getting some taken out. I tried to explain that I had never had any problems with my fills and I thought after a couple of days it would work itself out. The nurse informed me that it won't get better that it only gets worse. She said the more I throw up the more inflamed and irritated my stomach gets and then it's hard to even keep down liquids... I said yep.... I know that :P SOoo I guess I wasn't doing myself any favors. According to the scales I lost 9.6 lbs in those 11 days. THAT's crazy !!! Nice to be down, but I know that is sooo not the healthiest way to do it, and not the most comfortable either.

Physical therapy went well. She wants me to start using a different type of mouse at work... guess I should at home too. That will take some getting used to. Therapy was pretty good, I had a love hate relation with the massage... it hurt but felt good at the same time. They did a sonogram on my arm as well, she said that was to help get blood flow moving and to try to losen up those tendons, she showed me how tight they were and she was trying to relax that. All in all it was good. Then after PT, I went to treat myself and got my nails done.

Oh and for those of you that are interested in an update on the relationship front... well without going into to many ugly details... I went on a date Tuesday night, figured it was only fair because Michael went out of town again for a date in Huntsville. I told him I was going and he told me to send his number and all the info I had on him and text it to him in case something happened to me... DO I LOOK THAT STUPID??? so you can STALK HIM ? So you could call him and threaten him for dating the girl you are letting slip through your fingers because your too stupid to realize how stupid you are actually being? NO THANK YOU !!! So he calls me later about midnight and asks where I am. I told him on my way home. He asked what time I left, I said around 7 and then he flew off the handle... why were you with him that long? what did you do? why did it take so long? where did you go. I said what's with the 3rd degree. What about you and your date... you do remember your on a date too.......... STUPID. He actually said, well I don't think I am going to get the truth out of you so I will stop asking. I had enough. I told him I was sick of his double standard bullshit and told him have a good time, goodbye and hung up. He tried to call back and I didn't answer and so he left a pittyful apology and then texted me one as well. When he got back I told him we needed to have a talk and I told him I was begining to resent him and that I was losing respect and it was making me more angry now. I told him I was tired of being the fall back girl and that I deserved to be the one selected, not the default. He said to me if that's the way I truely feel then he would take his leave and when he straighted up he would come back and see if I was available at that time. I told him to go. I KNOW he wasn't expecting that. I said I am not going to have you threaten me that your gonna leave... just go. I said your doing me NO favors by staying and stringing me along besides causeing me more stress and pain and drama and I don't need any of the above. Then his tune changed. He said I don't want to leave, I said will it just might be the best idea he has had in some time.

What is it that he cannot get it through his head I am not letting him have his cake and eat it too... I'm just done. I wish my heart was as done as my mind is... the heart is what I am fighting with so much right now... damn HEART !!!

I have to get onto reading up on all my friends... sorry again for being away... I will be a better girl :)

Update on Relationship

If that's what you want to call it.... I got some really good advice from fellow Blogger, Kim... such a wise girl. Well I had a talking to with Michael night before last and I told him straight out that the way he was acting was stupid. I told him if he loved me like he said he did and if he was so afraid of losing me then he would grow up and fight these childish urges to flirt with other women. I told him that his adolescent behavior was definitely gonna cost him in the long run. He asked me to stay the night as we were over at his place and I actually said no... that's a first. I hated it but I knew I needed to do it. I told him I thought some time away might do him some good, might make him appreciate what exactly he's in the process of losing. He said he didn't want time apart. I told him I wasn't going to be with him and sit around and watch and listen to him talk to other girls, to watch him text them on his cell or chat with them online. He's gonna have to figure it out on his own. I left and about 10 mins down the road called to tell him I love him and I think he was actually crying. Not that I was going to ask and point it out, but he told me to drive safely several times and not to drive to fast and he told me over and over again that he didn't want to be with out me, but he was just trying to figure things out. I can respect him telling me how he feels, but I can't handle this constant rollercoaster of emotions I am having. I get car sick... haha :) There's not enough Dramamine to handle that :) I love him to pieces, but I think it's best I step aside just a bit and give him some time to actually MISS ME.... I know he's worried. I can tell by the way he's been acting since... he is so worried I am gonna find someone new. He actually told me yesterday that there was a difference because the girls he is conversating with live over 3 hours away and that they tell him that most of the guys they talk to are 40 or older and not at all interesting. He told me, Ben is just down the street and local and that he has seen the guys that are interested in me and they are young and handsome and are guys that any girl would like to go out with... AND ?? I can restrain from throwing myself at ever cute guy that walks by... I can handle being commited... I don't jump at every temptation that arises... GEEZE !!! It's kinda funny that he's trying to make sure when I am off work that he spends that time with me, I think just so he knows I am not out with anyone else... it's quite funny.
I however am not going to hold back and just sit around and wait... I am going to have fun and do fun things and if when he straightens up his act, I am still available, well maybe we will cross that bridge when it gets here.

Anyway... stay tuned for further updates...

I could not get in to update my last post, so I am updating my tracker here !!

Bitter Sweet Weigh In

Yep... I am having a bitter sweet weigh in today. I posted on my fill from last thursday that has been giving me such problems and guess what... I still have the same problem. It is so frustrating. I get choked up over liquids even. I am unable to finish a full yogurt in 1 sitting. It takes me 3 bites maybe and I'm feeling stuck. Yesterday I got choked up on my drink and it had me getting way to personal with my work trash can. I found some sugar free hawaiian punch singles right after my surgery at WalMart, which tastes just like the real thing and they come in a box of like 10 or 12 for $1. can't beat that. Well I recently found the same thing but in a lemon berry flavor.... OH MY GOSH, YUMMY... Well anyway, I stopped by the store yesterday to get some soup... I have got to keep something down, but no luck. It just seems to get everything stuck and it all comes back up.... so after 6 days now of this... I did my weigh in this morning and down 5 lbs.... I love that I lost, but this is definitely not the way I want to lose it. I thought by now it would even itself out and it wouldn't be so tight, but I am still not having luck. I am seriously thinking about getting some taken out, just finding the time to do so this week is gonna be difficult, we are already short handed as it is.

TOTAL LOSS THUS FAR !!!

Welcome to the 2008 edition of gettting to know your friends.

1. What is your occupation? Marketing & Contract Specialist
2. What color are your socks right now? white
3. What are you listening to right now? radio, mix station
4. What was the last thing that you ate? refried beans from taco bueno, thinned out with salsa
5. Can you drive a stick shift? no
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? a sales rep for our company
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Don't really know them
8. How old are you today? 31
9. What is your favorite sport to watch? Hockey
10. What is your favorite drink? ice tea
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yep
12. Favorite food(s)? popcorn, peanut butter, chips and queso
13. What was the last movie you watched? The Spiderwick Chronicles
14. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving
15. How do you vent anger? raise my voice
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? barbie's and dolls
17. What is your favorite season? fall
18. Hugs or Kisses? Both
19. Cherries or Blueberries - Cherries
20. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? IF they want
21. Who is the most likely to respond? Kim
22. Who is least likely to respond? not sure
23. Living where? Texas
24. When was the last time you cried? yesterday...see putting it in neutral
25. What is on the floor of your closet? shoes
26. Who is the friend you have had the longest? JoAnna
27. What did you do last night? went to a movie and dinner and then spent the rest of the evening with Michael at home.
28. Favorite smell? Mulberry
29. What inspires you? my family
30. What are you most afraid of? failing
31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
32. Favorite dog breed(s)? I love em all
33. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
34. How many states have you lived in? 2, Texas and New Mexico
35. What is your favorite way to relax? go to the movies