I'M BACK.... and Weighing In

Hello Everyone... I missed you guys so much. Sorry I have made myself a stranger, but things have been so crazy. I am back, not just to my blog but to work. I took an extended leave due to a near break down... when and how do you classify it as a TRUE break down?? Well I can tell you, my dr is the one that took me out, and she is the one who put me on my pills !!! Just what I need, more pills huh? Well these were to make me settle down and relax a little, goodness sakes, I was needing it. The story is so long, I don't know that my fingers would hold up if I was to tell it all, so I will give you a "CLIFF NOTES" version. Basically a couple of weeks ago Michael called and we were discussing his father's health, he was in the ICU at the time, not expected to make it... which he did, Thank GOD ! Anyway, Michael was updating me on his father's condition because I do love his parents and he told me he was on his way to the hospital to see him. I told him to tell them hello for me. Well shortly after hanging up there was a knock on my door, when opening it, I see Michael there, I was a little stunned due to our previous convo where he stated he was on his way to the hospital, I asked what he was doing there and he said he wanted to see me. It had been a little while, since I told him to move on... So we talked for a little bit and then the drama insued.... He took his cell phone out and wanted me to watch him delete the girls numbers and pics out of it, I told him I didn't care and didn't want to see and it was to little to late, he got so angry that he threw his phone against my dinning room wall and shattered it. I was so shocked, I couldn't believe it. I told him he had to leave that I wasn't interested in watching him act like a child, and as he passed by me he said I can't believe you are doing this to me and he shoved me which caused me to fall over my coffee table. As I got up, crying and all I was way freaked out to say the least. I would of never have guessed he would do something of that nature. He of course said how sorry he was and didn't mean to do it and that he loved me more than anything, I said yeah well I don't want to be loved so much you have to push me, I could do without that kinda love. He grabbed my cell phone and I tried to pull it back away from him and we kinda wrestled over it a bit until he let go and my back was to him and he shoved me into the door jam near my staircase head first. YEAH sounds fun huh......... well he left after that. Sooo there began my somewhat of a breakdown. I couldn't believe this was happening and it was sickening to me. I called all the girls, including his ex wife and filled them all in on what was going on and let them know just what the real story was... they had no clue that he was playing both ends. Well since then they have all stopped talking to him, his ex wife changed her number, and vowed never to have anything to do with him. Shortly after our incident, he tried to kill himself, twice. He was torturing me I tell ya. He was sending me text messages saying I was the cause of his death and he could not live if he could not have me. It was horrible to say the least. So things have been rough........ but getting better now. He found out where Chris lives and showed up at 5 am on Saturday morning, Chris is not standing for it. I don't think I could of made it the last couple of weeks if I didn't have Chris, his son and his mom to cheer me up and take my mind off of it all. They have all been wonderful and always make me feel welcome when I visit them. I have been spending alot of time at Chris's with him and his son and his mom comes over alot to watch his son when we go run errands or just need to get away for awhile, she's great and I really like her alot. Well as far as the weighing in... the lbs have been dropping a little here and there. I have lost about 12 more lbs... which is definitely a positive. The girls in the dr's office say they can really tell especially in my face... I will have to post some pics when I get home, don't have any here at work.



I really can't believe I am down 45 lbs... sooo awesome



I have so much to catch up on with everyone, I will be looking out for ya :)