Amazingly wondrful weekend

Okay so I am spilling over with joy today... can't stop smiling... wanna know why?

Michael... we got to spend alot of time together over the past weekend and we just seem to gel. We have so many similiar interests and we think alot alike and have the same twisted sense of humor. I feel like I have known him so much longer as does he. It just seems to be so easy to be around him, not nervous or shy or reserved. We just laugh and talk and have serious conversations and then laugh some more. He is a delight to be around and he just seems to adore me which is the best feeling ever. Everything is so genuine and it's just refreshing. He sent me the sweetest texts this morning, he knows I was sleeping, so he didn't call, but he texted my cell so I would get it when I woke up... I didn't check it until I got to work and this is what I got....

"I just hae to say this last week has been one of the best weeks of my life and I hope there are many more like it. You make me super happy babe." Oh my gosh if that's not just the sweetest thing to start your day reading... but he goes on to say in his 2nd text....

"I miss you. My feelings grow for you every passing second." SHUT UP... that's even sweeter. I replied with a note tell him how happy he makes me and it's a really good feeling. Then I get...

" You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world." What's so crazy to me is it's all genuine. He is such a wonderful person and truely means what he says. He took me to meet a couple of his cousins last night and we watched a movie over at their place. They were great and Michael got a full report this morning on what they thought of me. I got an A and his cousin Bud told him that Natalie (Bud's wife) really liked me and that it's hard for Natalie to warm up to people right away. Michael said that was a real shocker. I was happy for the good report :0)

I love how we can banter back and forth with each other and just laugh. He is such a gentleman, opens my doors and such. He asked me last night how was he suppose to open the door for me if I kept walking in front of him... I existed the restraunt before he did... Oops my bad :) It was cute. Oh my gosh this post sounds so sappy and disgustingly sweet... I think I am getting a tooth ache just writing it. I should put a warning at the top !!

Well we are spending the evening together.. woo hoo, best way to ring in the new year I think. I heard one time that kissing the one you care about/love/etc at the stroke of midnight will give you lots of luck in that relationship... something along those lines... bet your butt I'm kissing him the stroke before, during and after midnight :) hahah I need all the luck I can get :)

I wish you all the very best New Years with lots of joys, luck, happiness one can handle, and then a pinch more :)

Movie and Date Review

Okay, so update on last nights festivities :) I went to the movies to see I am Legend with Michael, the good kisser :) The movie was good... ending not so good, but it was an overall good movie. Not as jumpy for me as I had heard it was for others, but then again being the movie buff I am, I can usually predict most things. Sooo I told you how young Michael looks, it's so crazy to look at him and not want to ground him for just looking to young :0) it's funny. So holding hands in the movies was sweet and I didn't mind, but when we got out and was walking down the hall where all the people were it felt wierd holding his hand... I felt like a cradle robber, which I'm not, him being my age and all. He just looks so darn young. When we got back to my house we were walking my dogs and he was standing outside smoking and while I was looking at him, I thought about my nephew who is in jr high and what he would look like smoking. Michael is about the same size as my nephew. Did I mention he was short too? He's my height, 5'6, but I had on boots last night so I was a few inches taller, which was hilarious in it's own. It's so odd. But he's super sweet and fun to be around with and he's is a perfect gentleman, which I like. Sooo I would rate the date very high, just funny too.

Guess we will have to see what happens.

Whew... what a busy week

This post is gonna be a recap of the last few days since I didn't get a chance to blog while home visiting the family. But I am back to work today, and it's super slow, so I have plenty of time to catch up.

Friday--21st
That was my birthday :) whoo hoo, number 31. After work, I ran over to the mall and they had a huge sale going on at Lane Bryant (50% off) and I had a great coupon to go along with it. I wanted to pick up some new bras and panties because I like to treat myself with cutisy panties (the kind that make you feel sexy just wearing them) so that's where I headed. I found some of the cutests little boy shorts and matching bras... found an awesome sweater/hoodie on the clearance rack along with a black/grey/white a-symetrical skirt that will look hot with my new knee high boots... So as I am checking out. I was talking to the lady ringing me up and we got on the subject of lap band, and she was asking me all kinds of questions and telling me how she wants to get it done too... it was neat to talk to her. She rang me up and as we were talking, I kept seeing the price go down and down and down... I just kept talking. The price dropped from about 120 to end at about 70. Then when I got my receipt it said I saved 160 bucks... holy cow... now that's some impressive shopping. My friend Holly and I then headed off to the movies and saw PS I Love You with Hilary Swank, Harry Conick Jr, and "Denny" from Grey's Anatomy... OH MY GOSH... it was so good !! I cried... not just at one part but at several different parts from beginning to end. And the guy who played the leading role... never seen him before, was a HOTTIE !!! and that accent he had in the movie was sooo cute. Well after the movie, Russell called and asked for me to meet him for some coffee. I don't do coffee, but do do hot cocoa... so I said okay, why not... was eager to meet him in person. So I made my way over to his neck of the woods, which isn't far from me at all. We ended up going back to his place and we just visited about everything under the sun. Movies, concerts, family, work, all that kinda stuff. He is easy and fun to talk to. I have to admit, he didn't really look like his pics I had seen, but didn't look bad. He is older than I am, 39 and really super sweet. Very much a gentleman and just an all around nice guy. Downside... not a great kisser though. It's not the worst, but not great either. Not that appealing as far as kisses go. I think we will make great friends for now... who knows....

Saturday--22nd
I was up until about 4 am visiting with Russell and was awake at 10 to get ready to hang out with Hiro, my bestest buddy that came in from Atlanta for the holidays. Hiro came and picked me up in time for a movie and some birthday shopping. We headed over to the mall and decided to go to the movie first... and we saw The Golden Compass. It was really good. I enjoyed it very much. Then we headed inside the mall to go to Lane Bryant... different mall than the day before. (I was sure they would have a different selection) Oh my gosh... I tried on the cuties jeans and they were actually 2 sizes SMALLER than I have been wearing for the last couple of years !!! OMG... I was so excited I just wanted to try on more... it was so exciting. I came out with an arm full of stuff and he looked at me and asked if I liked anything and I said yep, want them all. He was a little suprised. He ran off to go to the bathroom and I saw these cute green camo pants that I never in a million years would of taken a 2nd glance at in the past cause I was sure it wasn't in my size... but what the hell, my size just changed and so I tried some on........ CUTE as a button... had to have them too... he got back from the bathroom and I had 3 more jeans in my hands... He told me he was budgeting about 200 bucks... so I said okay and told her which were my favs to ring up first. That left out only 1 pants and 2 shirts which I was fine with. It came up to 206... he is so awesome. He told me, your gonna be out of these in a couple of months, and what was I going to do then... told him he could come back for the summer and we could go shopping again... he laughed at me. He is the best, always spoils me when he is in town, and who am I not to let him :0) With all the running around I lost 5 lbs in 2 days... NUTS ! After everything, I went home, packed up stuff and doggies and headed to moms.

The rest of the weekend was great seeing my family, spending time with my sister and her kids and my aunts. We had christmas dinner on christmas eve and did presents then, since I had to come back home yesterday. Dinner was great on Christmas... I took a small bite of several things, but could not eat much at all, so I was actually really good :) My blood sugars were great and I was thrilled. I didn't even get into the desserts which was good of me as well. SUCCESSFUL Christmas eating :)

Christmas Day... got up and watched a movie with mom and papa and then packed up and headed over to my sisters to play with the kids a bit before leaving. I headed back home and I haven't mentioned him much, but met a guy online last week and we exchanged numbers and talked here and there over the weekend and during my drive to and from home. He is almost 30, so close to my age and he is divorced with no children. He has a great job and seems to have his stuff together. Well we decided to meet up after I got home last night... well early evening. The pics I had seen of him online I told him he didn't look his age, he said he got that alot... well when I saw him in person I couldn't believe it. He looked even younger than in his pictures... I asked him if he was even old enough to shave yet... I couldnt believe how young he looks... it's crazy. But cute. He didn't mind me picking on him a bit which is a good sign because I am sarcastic alot. He was super sweet and nice and we had a great time visiting over some coffee and tea... tea for me please :) We laughed alot. I love to laugh... he was so complimentary... told me that my pictures did not do me justice... how is that not the best thing to hear?? The time kinda flew by, which was a good thing. So we headed our ways and he had me call when I made it home safely. Very polite guy. So as an update to that, he is off today and tomorrow and we have made plans to go to the movies tonight and see I am Legend... I have been dying to see this, and so very happy to go with Michael... he likes scary movies too :) more points for him :0)

Hope you all had a wonderful christmas... Shout out to Kim... very proud of your success thus far as well.

It's my BIRTHDAY

Woo Hoo... Okay, so yesterday I went for my first fill. I got 3 cc's, and that seems to feel fine. I can definitely see the restriction, well feel it actually. It was fast, and easy. No pain and I didn't even use the numbing that they offered. I am used to the shots, I give my diabetic shots to myself in my tummy, so no biggie. I saw a few people that were there at my pre-op session and I got a chance to catch up with them. That was good. Everyone was just so friendly there at the aftercare center, it's amazing. It kinda sucks I'm on restriction on my birthday, but that's okay. They brought in bagels and donuts today, but I couldn't have any... my friends laughed when I watched them get their bagels and I told one of my friends to put the "good stuff" on it and then take a big bite for me :) They thought it was torture for me, but really it wasn't. It was quite fun being silly about it. I drank some Butter-Nut Sugar Free Hot Cocoa, which is sooo yummy and it actually filled me up. So weird to feel that full on some hot cocoa. But no pain. Okay onto another great topic... this guy Russell that I have been talking to via phone and emails, we had another great conversation yesterday as I was driving to my fill appt. He knows about my surgery and is really positive about it. He knows a couple of people that have had it done and he talks about how successful they are doing. He is really nice to talk to. So I am getting more and more excited to hang out with him. It's unfortunately going to have to wait until after the holidays, next week. Today is birthday day and going out with girlfriends and tomorrow early I am hanging out with my friend from Atlanta that is in town for the holiday and then after that I am heading back home to my moms for the next few days. I will be coming back home on Tuesday. I am super excited to hang out with him, I think our personalities are alot alike and we seem to talk really well with each other, it's kinda easy, so I am sure it will be fun.

Shout out to Kim... the boots looked HOT yesterday, they were so cute. I am gonna have to wear socks with them over my panty hose because they were a little big with just the pantyhose... BUT LOVE EM. I am getting back on track with my liquids now, so if I do hang out with Russell we are doing coffee for him and hot cocoa for me (I hate coffee) and then we have talked about going to a movie, or taking the dogs to the park depending on the weather (I like being outside when it's chilly out) So I promise to be good. I definitely feel more restricted now, so that's gonna help.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas Kim, and everyone else that might drop by to visit my page.

Blockbuster Online

Okay so the first thing I see this morning in my email is that Blockbuster Online has in the nicest way they can sent notice that they must increase their pricing AGAIN. I can't remember exactly how long I have had this service, 3 or 4 years now and this is the 2nd time they have raised thier pricing. They don't even give a waiting period, they just say on your next bill. I think this is so damn stupid. I can see them charging more for new customers maybe, but to increase us almost yearly is ridiculious. They could make the blow a little less harsh by offering a free month or something before they raise the price on you. Or even giving you free rentals in the store or something. I just think it's ridiculious.

Just what's a girl suppose to do to get her movie fix ?? haha

Sexy Boots

Okay, so I have had my 2 weeks off of being single again.......whew... feels like forever. Well not really that bad, since my family was here the past 5 days... didn't leave me too much alone time. It's not that I can't be alone, or that I don't like or prefer to be alone at times, but I love the company of being in a relationship. I love having someone to cook for and someone to hang out with or veg at home with. I am missing that company. There are so many movies coming out and that are out right now that I would love to go see. I think I need to get some younger friends. The friends I have now, are friends I have met through work mostly and they are mostly older than I and don't like to go and do as much as I do. They are kinda bumps... all over the same log ! Anyway, so I have been dying to get some sexy boots. I usually get a pair every year, but haven't in the last couple. But that stopped today... I found some great boots and had a 40% off coupon which makes even better. So I found them, they were all out of the brown, and only had the 1 black pair in my size.........I held on to those suckers, no I did not want her to put them behind the counter while I looked around......... I wanna make sure these bad boys do NOT leave my hands until they are on my feet :) They are knee high and have a nice heel, not to high to where I will look like an idiot trying to walk in them... but I am so excited. I have the cutest black skirt to wear with them. Just need to decide on a top... I think I might know just which one :) So now I need to find a date! I have had my eyes on this guy for a little while now. We actually met on myspace about the same time I started seeing Thomas. We only chatted back and forth after he first messaged me and told me how cute I was... that's always nice. When Thomas and I got serious, I told this guy... Russell that I was gonna make a go of it with Thomas and I hoped we could remain online buddies. He was sweet and didn't push things and wished me well. Told me I had an open invitation for him to take me out if Thomas and I didn't work out. So now that we haven't worked out... well we exchanged numbers yesterday and he gave me a call this morning. We had a brief little chat, but it was nice to hear his voice, putting his voice to his pictures. We chatted about movies, work, the weather, that kinda stuff. But it was fun. I am so looking forward to talking to him again. Soooo I am ready to jump back in and get some more fun into my daily life. This is my birthday weekend, best time to do something fun :)

Have a great day !

What every woman should have...

My best friend sent this to me today, and I just wanted to share with the rest of you.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control
to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to, or needs to

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams, wants to see her in an hour

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's
looking forward to retelling it in her old age

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh.....and one who lets her cry

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates,
wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a feeling of control over her destiny

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love, or more

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table
or a charming inn in the woods
when her soul needs soothing

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year.

Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.

Kim is RIGHT !!

Update to my post yesterday about not keeping anything down, Kim was/is right! I know I am testing the waters way to much. I need to get back on track. It's not that I am really trying to break any rules, I am just so bored with jello and pudding and yogart and applesauce and chicken broth. I just wanted some consistancy... but this is the choice I made and a big one at that. I am getting back on track today and doing what I am suppose to be doing. Today I have started out my day with my Isopure Blue Raspberry Drink. I don't like it as much as the Alpine Punch, but it's drinkable. It's 11 am, haven't had anything to eat yet, but not really hungry either. I go for my first fill on Thurs, so I will surely have to be on track after that. Not to make excuses, but I think it's been hard this weekend because I had family in town and we went out to dinner and at this stage, going out to dinner is difficult because there's not alot to choose from on a liquid, mushy diet. The family left today, so it shouldn't be to hard for me to get back on track, which is what I plan on doing.

Can't keep it down

I am having the hardest time keeping things down... well without it getting stuck, and boy when it gets stuck, the only thing I want is for it to be OUT.

I tried some lunch meat and crackers on Thursday night and one bite of that cracker just seemed to lodge and take my breath away. I had to get it out, and then I felt better. Not brave enough to try it again, so I just ate the turkey meat. Not bad after that. Last night I tried to chew up a small piece of chicken and thought it was fine, but when I went to take a drink of my tea, it wouldn't go down. I was in the restraunt with my mom and grandpa and neither of them were at the table at the moment and I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to get up, cause my mom's purse was still there. But I could not swallow the tea in my mouth, and I certainly wasn't about to spit it out at the table. So as my eyes started to water, I could feel myself start to panic and then it got worse... of course, isn't that the way it always is... So I covered my mom's purse with her jacket and grabbed mine and headed to the ladies room. I felt so much better when that piece of chicken came back out. Whew... Wasn't about to try that again either. Gosh, it just sucks. I feel like I just got a fill and I didn't. I actually go for my first fill on Thursday... I am gonna have to make some better choices. But I guess this is the point where I test things out. I went home for lunch today and my mom and grandpa decided to stay over again, I am so glad... they never get to come down here and visit. My gpa told me they never just sit and relax and it was so nice to be doing that. She made me some chicken salad, and the meat was really small so I was sure I was going to be able to eat it. But 2 bites in and food jam city. I hate that feeling. The feeling where I don't even want to swallow my spit... it's so weird. I finally got it all up and then felt better. My stomach was a little jumpy so I didn't dare try anything else. On the way back to work I stopped to get some beans at Taco Bueno and will make my little soupy beans when mixing it with the salsa to thin it out. That seems to be all I can get down. I am not really in the mood for it, but my stomach is making the craziest sounds. Thank goodness for my Isopure drinks, at least I am getting my protein in :)

Irritated by co-worker

I have to just express my irritation in some manner, so being that I am still at work and it happens to be a co-worker driving me nuts, I should keep it quiet and stomp my feet here instead. I have a co-worker who is driving me nuts today. She is so loud to begin with and her voice and her horrendous laugh (sounds like the laugh of the cowardly lion on the wizard of Oz). She can be heard clear across the room. Usually I don't even notice or care to bother with listening, but sometimes she just keeps repeating herself until you feel like banging your head on the wall would be more pleasant. She is 40 something and acts like a 15 year old. She isn't that smart and is a slow learner, so when learning new stuff in a group setting, she has to repeat it like in 5 different ways to make sure she gets it and then she still ask more questions about it in the future. ARRRGGG It's so annoying. I work in a very fast paced environment and she is really slow and is always complaining that people get onto her for being so slow, and she just can't help it. She just doesn't understand how everyone else is so fast... yadda yadda blah !! I have been here just as long as the most tenured people and I am also our website designer, so I know where all our sales tools are and where to get all the information we use on a daily basis, so I am someone that everyone goes to with questions. Sometimes it's hard because I can't get my work done due to everyone Else's questions. I get frustrated with her because you have to repeat yourself until you feel like a parrot. Well she was at it this morning with another co worker saying how she didn't think it was that way, and she read something one day but she doesn't know when or where but she didn't think that was right. WELL THEN WHY ARE YOU ARGUING WITH SOMEONE THAT KNOWS... it was ridiculous. She wasn't arguing with me, with someone else, but then I heard why don't you ask "McQty" she knows everything, but it was in a very condescending tone. Up until that point, I was not even in the conversation, but I heard that and I said, "what did you just say" and she actually repeated it. Then the other girl she was talking to asked me to come there to help, and I told them I was not getting involved. So then I became annoyed. I got to thinking then about how much this IDIOT girl takes off from work. Even when she doesn't have sick time, she is always calling in for a headache or something stupid like that. I had a car accident on the way to work in Sept and hit my head on the windshield and after they towed my car, I came up to work. I tried to work for several hours, but didn't feel well. I went to see my dr and had a concussion. I friggin came to work with a concussion and people like her call in cause they had a bad dream, or woke up with a headache, or hurt themselves while farting... GIMME A BREAK

anyway, sorry for the rant......... but I feel better :) haha not really about her or the situation, but it made me laugh to write it down.

Christmas Lights

OH I FORGOT... I didn't tell you about my love for cruisin and checking out christmas lights. I have a Christmas birthday, 21st and growing up I didn't have parties much cause kids were always gone for vacation, but I did have my family traditions and my fav was getting in the car and going to look at christmas lights. I keep that tradition every year and love it just the same as I did as a kid. Last year I had the best time. I planned all the routes out and had maps of the different areas around Dallas and where I live. My mom came down and brought my sister's 3 kiddos... my little babies and we had the best time. I took them for ice cream ( I know in Dec) and drove around the best lights ever. We all piled in my mom's suburban with the dogs and just made an evening of it.

Well Now that my mom and gpa are coming tonight, if my gpa feels up to it, I hope to take them around to see some lights tonight. I have already coursed out the best locations, highlighted them on the map, got my digital camera ready and will bundle up my priss and goober and off we will go. I hope I can get some nice pictures and will share when I get back.

Again, have a wonderful evening !

Yeah It's Friday

Felling good today, although it's still cold and rainy outside. My ex husband, been divorced since June... that's a long story, but anywho... We recently started talking again as friends since he found out about my surgery and called the morning of to wish me well. He was always a very supporting person as far as taking care of me and making sure I was well. I gotta give it to him, he was wonderful in that department. Lets not get into that, or I will start missing him. Well he came over last night to help me move around my furniture back to the way I had it before Thomas moved in. It was weird having him help me move Thomas's stuff out of the way. But we got it all moved, and he got to play with Goober, which was our dog we got together and he played with Priss too. He couldn't believe how small she was. I told him how small she was, but it's hard to picture until you really see her. She's about 1.5 lbs. She just ran around his feet all crazy, it was too cute. He was so worried about me helping him move stuff around, he kept telling me to let him do it b/c I shouldn't be doing it. But I am a very independent person and I like being of help. I didn't push to hard, so I was fine. No problems :) He told me several times how much he missed hanging out with me and doing things like this, just redoing stuff around the house and laughing and such. I have to admit, and I did tell him that I missed it too. He has been dating a woman off and on for several months, probalby about as long as I was dating Thomas. They split up a few weeks ago and now that she found out he's been talking to me and leaving messages on my myspace, she has been begging him back. He said he's considering it, but they are just seeing where things go. I have to admit, I am hoping things don't work out, not that I want him back, but I know how she is and she is very jealous and would not allow him to talk to me even. I know this b/c when they first got together, she got into his yahoo and email and sent me some messages like they were from him saying that he was never happier than he was with her and that he loved her more than he loved me and they were made for each other and such. I never knew it was not him until months later when he called me up out of the blue and wanted to apologize, that they had gotten into a fight and she had told him she sent me those messages. Just for the record, I had never met this woman or even spoken to her in anyway, and I was not even talking to him at the time, so she was jealous for no reason at all. Anyway, he says she's just that way. I would love to be friends with him. I did love this man with all of my heart, it just didn't work out with us in the end, but that doesn't mean I want him out of my life total. I hope if he does work it out with her, that she can be okay with us being friends. He said she has alot of male friends, so I don't see why not.

ANYWAY... My mom and grandfather are .. on their way actually... coming to visit. Gpa is going to some church retreat in Houston this weekend and he's gonna ride there with someone from Dallas, so mom is going to bring him to meet his ride and she will stay with me over the weekend until he gets back on sunday and then they will go back home. I am excited. My gpa has never actually been up to see my place since I moved here, so I am glad he's coming. I also love when my mom is here, we always have a great time and I know she enjoys the time away from her busy thing from back home. Taking care of my 83 yr old, stubborn, Gpa is a chore. BLESS HER HEART !!! Plus she takes care of my sisters 3 kids after school alot and who knows whatelse, so she's busy. We always do fun things, movies, games, shop, just veg out and visit... all the things I love to do with her. She's the best. She has such a huge heart and I come to appreciate her more and more as I get older. I just treasure her.

I have always had such a warm, loving and welcoming family. Who have always been understanding and always been there. I don't know of any other means when it comes to family. But I know not everyone has that type of family. I found out last night after reading a blog on his myspace that Thomas is getting kick out of where he is staying now. He moved in with an old friend of his into her house that she is hardly at, due to her staying with her boyfriend most of the time. Well her boyfriend has decided she doesn't want Thomas staying at her house so she came home yesterday and told Thomas he was going to have to leave. He told me that he was going to go stay in a shelter. I was shocked. I don't really know anyone that has had to stay in a shelter. I am just so suprised that his family isn't taking him in, or if he even asked them to. It makes me feel so bad in a way because I was the one that asked him to move here. I know we were going to make a go of it, but he was suppose to get work here and he never even tried and after begging him for 3 months to get a job and him not trying I told him I wasn't willing to take care of him and that's when I asked him to go. I feel that if I didn't ask him to come here that he would still be where he was before and at least going to school. I know I didn't make him quit school, he was wanting to quit anyway, but I should of known better then.

Gosh, the pridicments we get ourselves into :0) I so hope he will be okay and safe. When I spoke with him last night he had the nerve to twist things around on me and say that he loved me for me and didn't matter if I had a job or how much money I was making that he loved me regardless. Well yeah to a point. It wasn't about love, it was about the stress of me doing everything and him not doing anything and me feeling like I was being taken advantage of and unappreciated. If I asked him to do me a favor it was always well you have to buy me a game or something stupid like that. Gosh just writing this makes me nausious. I spent alot of money to get him down here as far as getting a storage and renting the truck to transport his stuff and time off from work to help him do so, not to mention the numerous trips and gas each time, I could go on and on. Then he has the nerve to tell me what I have to buy him... I don't think so !!

I don't know what it is about me, or if there is a sign on me somewhere that I can't see that let's men think they can take advantage.... I wish it would go away. I have always been a very giving person, but I have to learn/teach myself when enough is enough.

Okay I will shut up... fingers got their work out... have a wonderful Weekend.

Feeling Blue

I am in such a blue mood today. I guess being alone has caught up to me a bit. It's been almost a week since I asked Thomas to move out and I guess I am feeling the affects. I am not really sad that he is gone, because I was getting so stressed out by him, but I am feeling the lonliness today. I miss having someone to spend that time with, hate going to sleep alone. I have the doggies, but it's so not the same. I am not ready to get back into dating yet, but surely miss the companionship. I don't even really feel like posting, just feel so blah today. Maybe I need to go see a movie, that always cheers me up :)

I will have to see what's showing tonight and see what I can do about that !

I love my babies

Here are some pics I took of Goober my Pomeranian and Priss my Mini Chihuahua. I just love em to pieces.

Rain Rain Go Away

Today is such a dreary day. I would love to be at home cuddled up with my doggies, in my pj's all warm and cozy. But no, I am stuck here doing the daily grind... I am just so not motivated today. I just had some mushies for lunch... taco bell pintos and cheese with extra salsa in it to make it more of a soupy consistency. It tastes like PURE GOLD !! Who would of thought I would love that taste?? But with this lap band I am on a new journey in finding new things that interest me. I went to GNC at lunch to check out the protein stuff there. I bought some french vanilla Whey Protein powder and I hope it turns out to be yummy. I also bought several of the ready to drink Isopure drinks. I am hoping those are good too... I have got to get my protein in... if not then I will be looking into wigs in the future. I just can't have that. i love my hair too much.

Words of A Man

One of my good friends sent me the following today... and it is very interesting. I shall learn from this, or I am in hopes to. I can be so gullable (nice word for stupid) when selecting men to date or engage in relations with. I need to protect myself more up front, and that will be one of my few goals for the new year !!

WORDS OF A MAN

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourselfa year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god! He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. Pass this on to at least 10 woman and 5 men. BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............

Single Again

SO much has gone on lately, how and where am I to start this Diary? This will definitely be a post of ramblings....Well as of last Friday, I am once again single. I not in such an easy way asked my live in boyfriend of the last 3 or so months to move out. Things were just not working out and I didn't see anything changes in the future except me resenting and hating him more. Things just were not working out. I am dealing with alot these days recovering from lap band surgery and he was not being supportive in the least. He likes bigger girls, which is fine, but he was not in any was supportive of the surgery I just went through. He didn't understand the procedure itself which just lead him to misinformation about what might happen which frustrated me even more. I just couldn't be with someone that was not going to be supportive to my situation. He really has alot of growing up to do, and I am not willing to support him financially until he does that growing up. I am too old for that and to set in my ways to take care of someone. I told him I was looking for a partnership and that's not what we had. I told him that I felt like a parent and that he would starve if I didn't cook and go naked if I didn't do his laundry and it was just ridiculious. After 3 months of begging him to help, I was done. SO that's that !What to do with all his stuff ??? Now that's the question... he hardly took anything except his computer. I don't know exactly what he is thinking, that I am just going to be a storage for his stuff? NOT in the least. I'm gonna have to think this one over a bit.