Missing in Action

Sorry for the missing in action routine. This week has been one for the books... a book I wouldn't mind burning and getting rid of. Was still having trouble at the first of the week on Monday with not able to keep foods down. After trying to eat a small salad on Monday, and getting personal with my trash can I decided I had had enough. I called to make an appt to get an UN FILL ! I also scheduled my physical therapy for my arm and wrist. I took Tuesday off to do all of this. I went Tues morning for my un-fill and found out that I was basically torturing myself for the last 11 days. They asked why I waited so long before getting some taken out. I tried to explain that I had never had any problems with my fills and I thought after a couple of days it would work itself out. The nurse informed me that it won't get better that it only gets worse. She said the more I throw up the more inflamed and irritated my stomach gets and then it's hard to even keep down liquids... I said yep.... I know that :P SOoo I guess I wasn't doing myself any favors. According to the scales I lost 9.6 lbs in those 11 days. THAT's crazy !!! Nice to be down, but I know that is sooo not the healthiest way to do it, and not the most comfortable either.

Physical therapy went well. She wants me to start using a different type of mouse at work... guess I should at home too. That will take some getting used to. Therapy was pretty good, I had a love hate relation with the massage... it hurt but felt good at the same time. They did a sonogram on my arm as well, she said that was to help get blood flow moving and to try to losen up those tendons, she showed me how tight they were and she was trying to relax that. All in all it was good. Then after PT, I went to treat myself and got my nails done.

Oh and for those of you that are interested in an update on the relationship front... well without going into to many ugly details... I went on a date Tuesday night, figured it was only fair because Michael went out of town again for a date in Huntsville. I told him I was going and he told me to send his number and all the info I had on him and text it to him in case something happened to me... DO I LOOK THAT STUPID??? so you can STALK HIM ? So you could call him and threaten him for dating the girl you are letting slip through your fingers because your too stupid to realize how stupid you are actually being? NO THANK YOU !!! So he calls me later about midnight and asks where I am. I told him on my way home. He asked what time I left, I said around 7 and then he flew off the handle... why were you with him that long? what did you do? why did it take so long? where did you go. I said what's with the 3rd degree. What about you and your date... you do remember your on a date too.......... STUPID. He actually said, well I don't think I am going to get the truth out of you so I will stop asking. I had enough. I told him I was sick of his double standard bullshit and told him have a good time, goodbye and hung up. He tried to call back and I didn't answer and so he left a pittyful apology and then texted me one as well. When he got back I told him we needed to have a talk and I told him I was begining to resent him and that I was losing respect and it was making me more angry now. I told him I was tired of being the fall back girl and that I deserved to be the one selected, not the default. He said to me if that's the way I truely feel then he would take his leave and when he straighted up he would come back and see if I was available at that time. I told him to go. I KNOW he wasn't expecting that. I said I am not going to have you threaten me that your gonna leave... just go. I said your doing me NO favors by staying and stringing me along besides causeing me more stress and pain and drama and I don't need any of the above. Then his tune changed. He said I don't want to leave, I said will it just might be the best idea he has had in some time.

What is it that he cannot get it through his head I am not letting him have his cake and eat it too... I'm just done. I wish my heart was as done as my mind is... the heart is what I am fighting with so much right now... damn HEART !!!

I have to get onto reading up on all my friends... sorry again for being away... I will be a better girl :)